The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just google imaged poop.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
