I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize