She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
