i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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