you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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