I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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