HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
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