Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize