I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
