Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
