it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
