Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
