Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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