It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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