I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
