actually, I'm a sock model
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
