why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
