the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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