She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
