i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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