Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
