I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
