I'm jealous of your bromance
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
People in love make me want to vomit
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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