i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
