Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Still dying that you shit outside
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
