Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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