listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
