im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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