Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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