So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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