I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
this is an emotional support booty call
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
