he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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