Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize