i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
