whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
