If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
