I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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