I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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