decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
