I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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