we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
