They should really pass out barf bags in church
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
