mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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