In the future we'll all be gay
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
