Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
