so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Randomize
