OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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