I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Boobs are out for the taking
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
