i barfeds in our rink
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
