I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
