ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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