hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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