Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
