Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
