You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Randomize