Pants 0. Shit 1.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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